All my life I did everything I could to not feel vulnerable, to feel protected, to know that no one can attack me.

I was so afraid to leave the guard down, not to be hurt, that I would have done anything to feel safe.

I remember one of the workshops I attended in India where, in an exercise, I was asked how I feel when I'm vulnerable and what makes me feel that way.

Very proud of me, I replied that I am doing my best not to be vulnerable, which is why there are not many situations that could make me feel that way.

The facilitator smiled and asked me to come in without the group of about 25 participants. He continued to ask me questions that, easy, easy, made me feel vulnerable to them.

I would have done anything to run, to hide, not to see anyone ...

... not to notice the things that made me feel so exposed. She prayed not to do anything but to be careful about what is happening in my body, what sensations I experience.

I felt a wave of cold that had invaded my body, and a tremor that had taken hold of me. It was so much that I felt faint. I could not control my body anymore. The facilitator sat behind me, as if he wanted to protect me, not to feel that fear.

I felt naked in front of all those who could see me and felt the state of fear, a state that provoked me so much shame. It seemed terrible to me that someone was seeing what was happening to me beyond the strong and smooth woman mask I was so used to.

I knew from past courses that if you let your condition be consumed, it passes and you are not afraid next time of it.

This thought gave me strength and I waited for minutes to pass that seemed endless.

Slowly, I slowly began to feel a warmth in my whole body and a relaxation that I did not understand where she came from. Suddenly I felt good and very quiet. I felt a huge smile on my face and I jumped up with joy. I felt free. I took the facilitators in my arms to thank her for what helped me live.

I was released. I had wanted to live that state of which I was always fleeing and I always covered: the state of vulnerability.

I realized I was always afraid to let others see me just as I was really, in trouble, in fear, in hard moments, in circles, because all this made me feel vulnerable.

I was so attached to my image of a strong woman ...

... independent, that does not need anything (conditioning created since childhood) that I have built up dozens of masks that would look like this and that would not let them see what was really inside.

The thought of letting me be seen differently than I had proposed made me feel the way I felt in front of the working group, for which I never allowed that.

But when you wear the mask, you do not let anyone see you the real one, but you only see what you are showing to them, not who you really are. You can never have genuine relationships if you do not give up all the walls and masks you just created to avoid being injured. It is impossible.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it's the only way you can live freely.

I want to challenge you to think about what makes you feel vulnerable and how you feel when you are feeling this condition. You can take a diary to write what you feel or talk to someone you trust.

I can hardly wait to tell you about your experiences.